Rain Induced Fog

It is raining so hard at my house it looks like fog. I find this comforting. A day of severe weather always puts me in a good mood. Years of living in tornado alley have left their mark on me. I can feel the storm coming and look for ways of either being outside or glued to the weather channel.

Years ago I chased tornados, as a volunteer storm spotter as part of NOAAs Storm Warn network. Now I live where the hills and trees make chasing too dangerous. Technology has improved to the point that storm spotters are not as needed. What has not improved is the general public knowledge of what to look for between the sky and the radar. In part this is social Darwinism at work, if you drive into the tornado you get what nature had in mind for you.

My day started out with a presentation on how putting your big goals first enhances the likelihood on you accomplishing them and an hour of exercise. I worked on getting rid of old clutter, filling up over a sack of trash. Now, as the storm moves on I will finish fixing Mediterranean vegetable and lentils for dinner.

Backlogged

I run on a perpetual state of backlogged projects.  Not only the quilt I began cutting out around 2000, but more recent and pressing projects.  Today I am working to finish up scanning photos that were my parents.  I farmed out this task only to discover others have less attention to detail that I find acceptable.  Of about 170 pictures, some were missed in the scanning process by my local shop.  Others came out grainy due to age and quality of paper.  I find it impossible to let go of them without trying to make it better.

I find myself always with several running projects, from coupon clipping to items needing mending, that get pushed around by the more pressing projects.  Sometimes, I find myself wanting to start new projects, like gardening, without dealing with all of the old projects.  I know the old projects are there, but they are not as exciting as one that I have not began.  Over the years I have found I do best with short projects, as I do like to see a finished product once in a while.  The key is to mix it up.  Some long term fun projects, some long term chores, some short term fun and some quick chores.  Keeping that mix going and workable is what my time management skills get used for the most.

When I had cancer in 2011, I found most projects and chores could be put on hold.  The chores that were not done bothered me more than the fun stuff, as I was too tired to care.  With some of my energy having returned, I still find undone chores more irritating.  What I have also noticed is that sometimes a fun project becomes a chore.  Gardening is a great example.  I love plants, flowering and produce providing.  I hate weeding, watering, and trying to keep the pests off without harming my environment.  Consequently, the amount I am willing to pay for someone else to farm organically has risen dramatically.  I will even pay more for environmentally farmed flowers.  Not harming our environment has become a bit more personal for me, having had cancer, than it was before.

I know people who buy clothes that have to be altered so they can wear them.  I gave up on that years ago, knowing they would sit around and I would never get my "round to it."  I am too cheap to pay someone to hem pants or take in a waistband, as those are skills I have.  I am not too cheap to have someone do my brakes, yet I have that skill too.  Is it because brakes require me to get dirty?  Is it because it is not traditionally women's work?  Why do I feel the mark up on brake jobs is fine, when I cringe at a much smaller cost to fix a waistband?

Painting is another good example of a skill I have and am willing to pay for another to do for me.  This is primarily based on my aging arthritic body.  My days of painting a ceiling are done, I hope.  I can live with the mistakes of someone else, now.  Just ten years ago seeing uneven lines I had paid someone else to paint drove me nuts whenever I looked at them.  I know I am not the easiest client, but I hope I am fair.  I will rehire good painters, willingly pay their price.  I like straight lines.

I remember looking at woodwork in a room at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and feeling that those craftsmen could not have earned nearly enough.  Today we could not find anyone close.  I am stuck wanting great craftsmanship and settling for what is in my budget.  This is really how all my projects are approached.  The more important it is to me, the higher priority and closer attention I pay to it.  If it is just a chore, I am not as invested in the outcome, as long as it gets done.

Impending Seperation

Today my son, Tim, goes back to college.  It is not just all the projects he does better than any other house member, it is his company that I will miss.  I like having my children at home.  I know they want their own lives now that they are grown, but I miss them when they are gone.  For years, when they were growing up, I could not imagine missing them.  I yearned for quiet times then.  Now I have enough quiet.

This is the basic nature of us as humans, yearning for what we don't have yet or had in the past.  I know this yet can not escape it.  The clouds have rolled in and enveloped me with melancholy.  Now it is my job to push through this grey blanket and grab all of the good interactions left in this day.

Unexpected presents

Today a former owner of our home brought us a large watercolor of our home done for the original owners, a pen and ink drawing of our home, and the original blueprints. We have extended a dinner invitation to the couple who used to live here responsible for the gift. I am hopeful that this will be the beginning of a great friendship.

The Trouble is You Think You have Time. Buddha

This is my problem. I know time is limited. I get overwhelmed by things that eat up that time with meaning anything to me. I am searching for ways to improve my meaningful time.

Today I came face to face with lost time, an event that I could not recall. Now, I do not have a photographic memory. I am talking about a total absence of memory for something I would normally do. I do not know what to make of this yet, but it will be something I hope not to replicate soon.

Day Two

The alarm went off, and so did several snoozes.  I made it to CancerFit on time.  Went with hubby to his rheumatologist check up and a lunch at Roly Poly, one of the few places in Macon to have many vegetarian sandwiches on their menu.  Came home to work on making my blogs look less stark and scan in old photos.

Today is grey but pleasant in Macon.  A little bit of sun broke the winter day, but it is back hiding now.  One of the pleasures of living in the south is the nice winters.  I have blooming plants in my yard in January, in fact all year long.  The pool service substitute guy is sweeping out more dead leaves from our pool.  We could only swim into November, it is too cold now for us.  While winter is not as green here as summer, it still is much greener than other places.

The first winter we moved to Macon I rarely wore a coat, now my blood has thinned out and I am wearing a fleece turtleneck and it is 65 degrees outside.  Those who know me know I have have been cold often in weather others find warm.  Too bad I am also miserable when it is hot here in the south.  Having lived out west, it is the humidity that gets me here in Georgia. 

Highlights of my day include switching from my Christmas purse to my emerald green leather handbag.  Nothing earth shattering here.  My son is taking down our outside solar Christmas lights and by Epiphany all Christmas will come down and go to its home for eleven months of the year in our storage room.  I am looking forward to dinner this evening, we are using a gift certificate my husband bought at a holiday charity auction and going to the Back Burner, Macon's French restaurant.  Ever since Didier Poulet had me make croissants for French class in high school, I have loved French food.  I recommend French Food at Home with Laura Calder if you have the Cooking Channel.  She does many things that look wonderful.  I will admit I have yet to cook any of them.  I would recommend Ina Garten's French Lentils recipe, which I have made.  My daughter, Mairin, did not like the dijon vinegar dressing, but I like mustard dressings.  Here is the recipe from How Easy Is That?

WARM FRENCH LENTILS (4-6 servings)

 

What you will need:

• 2 Tbsp plus ¼ cup good olive oil
• 1 leek, white and light green parts, sliced ¼ inch thick
• 2 carrots, scrubbed and ½-inch diced
• 1 tsp minced garlic
• 1 cup lentils
• 1 whole onion, peeled and stuck with 6 whole cloves
• 1 white turnip, cut in half
• 1 tsp unsalted butter
• 4 tsp Dijon mustard
• 2 Tbsp red wine vinegar
• 1 Tbsp kosher salt
• 1 tsp freshly ground black pepper

Instructions:

1. Heat the 2 Tbsp of olive oil in a medium saute pan, add the leek and carrots, and cook over medium heat for 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for 1 more minute and set aside
2. Meanwhile, place the lentils, 4 cups of water, the onion with the cloves, and the turnip in a large saucepan and bring to a boil. Lower the heat, add the leek and carrots, and simmer uncovered for 20 minutes, or until the lentils are almost tender. Remove and discard the onion and turnip and drain the lentils. Place them in a medium bowl and add the butter
3. Meanwhile, whisk together the ¼ cup of olive oil, the mustard, vinegar, salt, and pepper. Add to the lentils, stir well, and allow the lentils to cool until just warm, about 15 minutes. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and serve. The longer the lentils sit, the more salt and pepper you’ll want to add.

Unvarnished First Day of the New Year

First Day of the New Year

I woke this morning to the luxury of my own biological clock.  No alarm.  I am blessed with a gentle beginning to 2013, not having to work today or tomorrow.  I have a lot to be grateful for at the beginning of 2013.  I am married, have three adult children, two dogs, and a wonderful home.  I know that I often forget to spend enough time enjoying the things I am blessed with.  Not a theological statement, just luck and the normal busyness of daily life.

For the new year I hope to eat at least 5 different fruits and vegetables each day.  I hope to finish projects I have started in 2012, like putting maps on my office walls.  I hope to continue to attend Cancer Fit at the local Wellness Center ( I am a survivor of stage 2B cervical cancer, and yes I had regular pap smears that did not detect it.)  I hope to sell my old house this year.  I hope to weigh less at the end of the year than I do today.  (270 on my home scale, down from a personal record of 335.)  I hope to do more creative projects.  I hope to learn new things about myself and my view religion from attending Sunday morning religious education classes and from reading.  I hope to be able to share some of what I have learned over the years about life with you, the reader of my blog.

I love New Years Day.  Like a newborn baby it is rich with promise, new and unspoiled.  But unlike the newborn, we get to approach it with wisdom from the years we have lived before.  Each new year is a chance to begin fresh, with bright eyes and eager spirits.  We get to create goals for ourselves, make changes as we see fit.  I want a more meaningful year, a year richer in substance than the last.  I want to keep my life energized.  I invite the promise of this year to bring me joy and surprises.  I want to be present in more moments, loose less time on auto pilot.  I want to get better at letting go of the garbage in my life.  

Having been just interrupted in train of thought by my husband booing my post, I will just say don't waste your time reading it if you don't want to read it!  I am hopeful that as I make progress with blogging that I will learn to write in a way that conveys my thoughts without boring you.